The Power of Music

I've been wanting to write about my experience singing in a church choir in June. I've been INSANELY busy but finally some Sunday reading this morning in The Hidden Messges in Water prompted me to take a few minutes to do so.

I'm not a choir person. At least, I never have been before. I used to play the sax from the 5-7 grades and was actually quite good, but I quit because I was too embarrassed to take my big instrument on the bus everyday. That is one of the two life regrets that I have, quitting something so awesome, especially because my decision was motivated by insecurity.

I want to get on the top of the world and tell every teenager not to care what others think. If only I knew then what I know now. If only I knew then that no one even noticed my instrument nor were even thinking about it. Generally, people just don't really care what I do. Or what you do. They care what they do. So do what you love!

Anyway, since I was in band, I never got into choir. Nor was I interested in doing so. I love music and have always loved listening to music, singing music in the car and attending concerts, but not choir. In high school, I went through a punk rock and rock phase where I would go to those types of concerts at least twice a month. My friends and I--clad in metal bracelets and combat boots thinking we looked so hard-core but really we looked pretty poserific--would sneak backstage and meet the bands after every concert.  I tried crowd surfing. I could sing every word to all of those bands, some of them the poppy punk and others heavier with harsh lyrics and messages. Those years were a lot of fun and I have some great memories. Yet, I was pretty unhappy back then. I attribute that to several factors, and that is a post for another day, but partially it was some of the music I was listening to.

During my teenage years, I was hurting and I tried to distract from the pain through a variety of tactics, music being one. The more painful and hard the music was, the better it seemed to feel on the inside sometimes. For a minute. For a song. But ultimately, those harsh lyrics and beats weighed on me. They got into my mind and my heart and brought me down even more. They weren't healthy. I understand that now.

I still appreciate some rock and punk rock and many other genres of music, but I'm a lot more selective. I understand what those lyrics and beats can do to people, how much they can influence they have on how we think, feel and what choices we make.

Mararu Emoto's book The Hidden Messages in Water supports this belief about music that I've been forming for some time, a concept I've been taught at church my whole life but didn't let myself believe because I was in denial. Emoto took photos of the crystals formed from water after it was exposed to several contrasting messages such as love, hate, teamwork and music. The water crystals formed from exposure to Chopin's Etude in E major, Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake and Vivaldi's Four Seasons are some of the most beautiful in the book. They are masterpieces.

The ones resulting from being exposed to Chopin are magnificent little gold droplets and and look like jewels you could scatter around. The one formed from Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake is a rainbow--it's absolutely incredible, the most unique in the book. The four from Vivaldi's Four Seasons are all intricate and unique, even representative of the respective season.

Then there are some photos of the crystals formed from water exposed to heavy metal. It isn't really a crystal, but a huge ugly, dark circle. It looks like a deep infection in someone's skin if you put it under a microscope. Nasty. Similar to the experiment when exposing water to someone saying the negative phrase, "You Fool." Ugly, sick looking. I was so touched by these photos and the understanding that the music we listen to has a deeply impressive effect on our souls and our minds and the way we feel.

A perfect personal example is going back to the choir I mentioned early. I volunteered to sing in this choir because my roommate said it was the most beautiful music and brought her to tears. I was intrigued and went to the first rehearsal the following Sunday.

I was indeed the most beautiful spiritual music I'd ever heard and it brought me to tears too.

It was more than a choir, but a full orchestra with a narrator and soloists whose voices pierced the soul. The work is called the Lamb of God by Rob Gardner. Here is a link to the oratorio performed by the Spire Orchestra. http://www.spiremusic.org/lamb/. It was such a privilege to be apart of that. I love words but could never quite succeed in explaining the experience I had singing about my Savior and His love for us and our imperfections and need for Him. Wow. It still makes me emotional remembering that experience. We got to sing this absolute masterpiece in the Latter-Day Saint (Mormon) Conference Center in Salt Lake City, with hundreds of people in the audience. People said we sounded like angels. One of my agnostic friends even said he enjoyed it more than his favorite broadway play.


Here's a preview video of some of the highlights in the collection. Oh I love this! You can also look it up on Spotify to hear the entire songs, Rob Gardner Spire Chorus Lamb of God.

Here are some of the lyrics from one of my favorite songs in the collection: "Here is Hope"

He who healed our sorrows
Here was bruised and broken
He whose love no end knows
Here was forsake, left all alone
Hope did not die here
But here was given
Here is hope
Here is all compassion
He who was rejected
He knows well my longing
He so long expected
Carried our burdens
Bore every sorrow
Here is hope
And ours is the victory

Those are the types of lyrics and messages I want to internalize. To make my life the masterpiece that it has the potential to continue being, I know I must align all areas of life with my goal, which is to invite goodness, love, success and service. Music is a powerful influence and I will forever remember the crystals forming as I continue to make decisions about what music I will listen to.

Christmas!

I am in THE most Christmasy mood ever. I have been feeling so full of the spirit of Christmas and so grateful for the Savior, I could just burst. I've done a few Christmas things that have contributed to this such as attending the First Presidency Christmas devotional last Sunday where the Prophet and his first two counselors gave us some amazing direction, which included counsel to give the Lord our best selves this Christmas, and I had a renewed commitment to do so. I appreciated President Uchtdorf reminding us that we can't give Him perfection, since we're imperfect people, but we can give Him our best foot forward. That's asking for a lot if you think about the greatness that we're really capable of, but it's the least we can do for He who has given us everything, including His life. 

President Eyring talked about remembering the gifts that the Lord has given us--holy smokes, so many--and giving to others. I made a goal to serve someone in some way every single day this month and i really changed everything I had been feeling. I was in a bit of a low and feeling less than charitable and acting as such. Now I feel so much closer to the Lord and so much happier. I'm so grateful for prophetic counsel. I especially loved the Mormon Tabernacle Choir who opened the devotional by singing The First Noel, which was SO beautiful and really made me reflect about the Savior and all He has done for my family and I, particularly lately. There have been some significant struggles in my family this past year and I've seen those I love make huge breakthroughs in their personal progression despite those trials and it makes my heart burn with gratitude that the Lord watches out for them just as He does for me and makes things that seem impossible, possible. 

Then I attended the Forgotten Carols with my dad, mom, sister and niece. We've gone to this performance for like the last trillion years, so it's fun to see how it's progressed. I was mostly surprised that I was so touched by the message this year. I've always felt like Michael McClain was a bit of a cheeseball and I'm not his #1 fan, but I was tearing up with the rest of them. I thought about all of the homeless people out there as they sang my favorite song in that performance about how Christ was homeless too, in essence, and I just wished I could wrap all of the homeless people in the world up in a Snuggie and give them some warm food and a place to sleep. I have a friend who works as a security guard at Gateway Mall and he told me about several people who go to the restrooms at night and lock the stall and fall asleep on the toilet. That kind of reality truly breaks my heart. How cold, miserable and utterly lonely. I also cried a little for the protagonist, Constance, who was holding in a lot of pain from the past and hurt in the present because she was lonely, isolated and not recognizing or accepting what joy could be hers if she let it in. I think we can all relate to that to a certain extent. 

Another fun Christmas thing I did was get together with my middle school friends for our 12th annual (or so) Girls Night Out. We exchanged Christmas CDs then did very stereotypical girl things like looking up cute famous guys online, sharing craft tips and fashion advice and eating Christmas treats. It was so great.

My church ward and I also bought gifts last Monday for some families who are down on their luck and wrapped them and will deliver them tomorrow. I cannot wait! It was SO fun picking out items for little 3-year-old Tasha who may not have gotten warm clothes this year otherwise. 

Tuesday,  my roomies and I had some people over to watch Elf and drink hot chocolate. What a good time! Elf had me LOLing the entire time. Nothing like the awkward and talented Will Ferrell in a large green suit and great friends to make Christmas that much better. And I went to the Gateway and tried on this ridiculous $30 hat.

Next, I went to see Arthur Christmas and loved it WAY more than I should have! I imagine I loved it more than all the 5 year olds who were there. I was so touched by Arthur's love and concern for each child. That's exactly how God is. He loves each and every one of us and goes to extreme measures daily to ensure that we are taken care of, even when we may feel forgotten or lost. He truly cares about every single one of us and has engraven us on His palms and wants to wipe all of the tears from our eyes. At the end of the movie, it showed what each character was doing a year later and how they were happy doing it, but when it was Arthur's turn it said that he was the one who made every one else happy. So sweet. That's who I would hope to be and strive to be. I may or may not have cried a little in that one.

The most recent thing I did that stamped the Christmas spirit in my heart was sing in my church choir. The hymns were so beautiful and overwhelmed me with the most incredible spirit. It felt so amazing. One cannot feel that way and doubt the existence or love of God. I loved watching my friends in the audience and seeing how the music was affecting them. I loved being an instrument to help bring peace and spirit into their hearts. There's something so incredibly powerful about music and I was so grateful to be apart of the little ward choir praising the Lord through beautiful Christmas music. Even if I am a self-designated sopran-alto and had to sit strategically in the middle of the sopranos and altos so as to not ruin everything for everyone. 

Oh how I love Christmas and all that it stands for. Despite all the bad in the world, there is so much more good that takes place everyday, in small and large ways. But mostly small I think. People being and doing good in simple ways that are extremely significant in the end. Christ instills His love into our hearts and it motivates people to be more, to be better, to be kinder. And that love is more powerful that we can comprehend, if we let it be.