Grace and Intellect

Yesterday I fell off a stage while presenting for work.  That’s really sufficiently hilarious, but if you’d like to continue reading, here’s the story:

I was at a charter high school presenting to about 300 students and faculty on this make-shift stage in the auditorium. I was up there doing my thing and they turned the lights off to better see the Keynote presentation. To better see the Keynote means to worse see anything else and it was DARK in there. I was playing a video and there were some teens who were trying to get a better view since the north side of the auditorium wrapped away from the screen a bit, so one minute I was stepping back to try to give them a better view and the next I was sliding in a heap to the ground. Apparently there were a few feet in between the stage and wall and that’s what I fell backwards into. The first thing I thought was, "I just fell off the stage." Then, "What do you do now? What does one do after falling off a stage?!"

It sounds weird, but the wall behind the stage curved underneath the stage, so it wasn’t a square wall but a rounded one, so luckily the angle broke the 4-foot fall a bit. I was quite surprised when all of a sudden I was sliding away. The best part was that I still had the microphone in my hand. I’m not sure anyone saw me fall because it was so dark, but everyone heard it. So I say into the mike, “Yeah, I just fell of your stage.” And there was a few stifled chuckles which turned into roaring laughter after I emerged from my hole and got back on stage and gave them sincere permission to laugh. They were so sweet to try and not be rude, but I think it’s more embarrassing when people try not to laugh out of pity, so we all just laughed together. My program is called Don’t Drive Stupid so I told them, “Yeah, don’t drive stupid, don’t walk stupid, just don’t be stupid.” They laughed, I laughed and I've been laughing about it every time I think about it since. Perhaps they have been too!

High school was never so entertaining for me.

Then today I drove two hours to present at this youth leadership conference, all decked out in a green shirt and a green sweatshirt and even green chicken socks from my last marathon in Baton Rouge because it was St. Patrick’s today. At least that’s what my far-too-expensive and apparently inaccurate, “World Masterpieces” calendar from the UK told me. So when I asked the teens why I was the only one wearing green (and a ridiculous amount) this teen informed me as snottily as she could muster, “Yeah that’s tomorrow.” Seeing clearly the image of Friday the 16^th marked as Saint Patty’s day on my calendar. I responded, “Oh...really?” She looked at me with that raised eyebrow and parted lips “duh” look and nodded like I had got to be the dumbest person on this planet.

Maybe next week I’ll be able to wow everyone with my grace and intellect. For now, I'm going to take an epsom salt bath and put on a red outfit. 

"Because I'm not beautiful," she said.

Tonight I began my volunteer service at the local homeless shelter and played with a new little friend. She's a five-year-old adorable Latina who wanted to play dead and fall from a dresser, while I caught her over and over. At one point, she got distracted by a book of Hello Kitty with some stickers. She said she wanted to keep the whole page of stickers but I told her we should leave some for the other kids, but that she should pick her favorite one and wear it. She picked one and stuck it on my shirt which I thought was so sweet that here she has so little and she gave me her treasure. She continued to give me stickers and I told her that she should keep some too. She shook her head and refused to keep any so I detached one and stuck it on her. She removed it and wouldn't keep it. When I asked her why not, she hesitated and wouldn't look at me and said it is because she's not pretty. I was devastated. Here this adorable five year old girl thinks she's not worthy of being adorned. A simple embellishment, in fact. I told her that she is very beautiful and insisted she should keep the stickers but she said she wouldn't because others would laugh at her because she's not pretty. For the life of me I couldn't get her to keep one, until the very end when it was time for me to leave.

I am beyond sad at a world where a beautiful five year old girl thinks she's not worthy of something nice or cute, devastated at the circumstances and environment that lead up to that mindset.  Additionally, at one point she was getting really excited having fun and when she jumped on the dresser to play dead, the cushion slid off and she stumbled off. I asked if she was okay and she got really quiet and lost all animation and wanted to stop playing. It was as if she was terrified that she was in trouble for messing up the cushion. I think she thought I would be angry at her, when all I cared about was if she had hurt herself when she fell.

I think of my niece who is about that age who has love, security, food, toys, loves high heals and dresses and who would probably never refuse a gift. Both have light and innocence and beauty, though they have very different backgrounds that have given them very different attitudes and beliefs it makes me want to take all of the little kids in the world who don't have basic needs and just kiss them all over and give them warm chocolate chip cookies and vegetables and a warm blanket and make it all okay for everyone. I can do this one small step of volunteering and loving these kids for one hour a week, but then what...what becomes of these kids? Obviously,  that can go a number of ways. There's absolutely hope for them and promise, but they need someone to help them see that. Everyone can be that someone for another, the person that encourages and loves and inspires. Every single person deserves to feel worthy to wear even the most beautiful crown, because we all come from the same place ultimately, we all have the same divine heritage, only we were all given different cards to deal with. I hope that everyone can know that their cards can be used to the best way possible, that they can be given new cards if they work hard enough. For the sweet, sensitive five year old at the homeless shelter, I pray that everyone can feel worthy of beauty and love and know that they come from a Heavenly Father who loves them, and that makes us all royalty.