Tonight I began my volunteer service at the local homeless shelter and played with a new little friend. She's a five-year-old adorable Latina who wanted to play dead and fall from a dresser, while I caught her over and over. At one point, she got distracted by a book of Hello Kitty with some stickers. She said she wanted to keep the whole page of stickers but I told her we should leave some for the other kids, but that she should pick her favorite one and wear it. She picked one and stuck it on my shirt which I thought was so sweet that here she has so little and she gave me her treasure. She continued to give me stickers and I told her that she should keep some too. She shook her head and refused to keep any so I detached one and stuck it on her. She removed it and wouldn't keep it. When I asked her why not, she hesitated and wouldn't look at me and said it is because she's not pretty. I was devastated. Here this adorable five year old girl thinks she's not worthy of being adorned. A simple embellishment, in fact. I told her that she is very beautiful and insisted she should keep the stickers but she said she wouldn't because others would laugh at her because she's not pretty. For the life of me I couldn't get her to keep one, until the very end when it was time for me to leave.
I am beyond sad at a world where a beautiful five year old girl thinks she's not worthy of something nice or cute, devastated at the circumstances and environment that lead up to that mindset. Additionally, at one point she was getting really excited having fun and when she jumped on the dresser to play dead, the cushion slid off and she stumbled off. I asked if she was okay and she got really quiet and lost all animation and wanted to stop playing. It was as if she was terrified that she was in trouble for messing up the cushion. I think she thought I would be angry at her, when all I cared about was if she had hurt herself when she fell.
I think of my niece who is about that age who has love, security, food, toys, loves high heals and dresses and who would probably never refuse a gift. Both have light and innocence and beauty, though they have very different backgrounds that have given them very different attitudes and beliefs it makes me want to take all of the little kids in the world who don't have basic needs and just kiss them all over and give them warm chocolate chip cookies and vegetables and a warm blanket and make it all okay for everyone. I can do this one small step of volunteering and loving these kids for one hour a week, but then what...what becomes of these kids? Obviously, that can go a number of ways. There's absolutely hope for them and promise, but they need someone to help them see that. Everyone can be that someone for another, the person that encourages and loves and inspires. Every single person deserves to feel worthy to wear even the most beautiful crown, because we all come from the same place ultimately, we all have the same divine heritage, only we were all given different cards to deal with. I hope that everyone can know that their cards can be used to the best way possible, that they can be given new cards if they work hard enough. For the sweet, sensitive five year old at the homeless shelter, I pray that everyone can feel worthy of beauty and love and know that they come from a Heavenly Father who loves them, and that makes us all royalty.
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